Year of 2020: Time of Self-Reflection

As you may read from my previous posts, I have been looking inwards through contemplation & self-reflection.

2020 is such an odd year, isn’t it? There is so much going on in the world that I have no where else to look but inward.
Judge if you may but as I was reflecting, I played with the idea & came to the realization that the back to back occurrence with Corona Virus & the BLM movement might just be a direct message (if you will) from the high power above to all humans regardless of your skin, hair, and eyes. Why else would this happen in such a timely manner? Can we simply call this a coincidence? Maybe this is a wakeup call for us to grow in understanding & solidarity, check our individual & cultural privilege, so that we better understand ourselves as human beings & as a society. Because in the end, we are not meant to be pitted against each other, only to help. It’s a phenomenon that I think is long over due but ultimately a moment of social & global change.. speaking to all non-black races, how can we change the world when we don’t change ourselves?

That’s why I thought it was so important that I use this time to dig deeper into the person I am underneath the facade, societal pressures, etc. Who am I without the fancy car? Who am without the constant pressure of outside noise? without my job? without my friends & family? without my bank account? What speaks to my soul? Why am I here? And I’ve realized, that you if you don’t value yourself enough to become you, by simply doing more of what you love & what gives you life than how can you come to wholeheartedly & genuinely accept & give life to someone else? for long-term support? Not gonna lie, these moments of deep reflection isn’t easy. For me, I have felt moments of pure weakness, existential crisis, & disempowerment. I understand for you it may be a difficult idea to sit with & even more uncomfortable process to ponder, but one that is so very necessary to undergo. And I am telling you now, it’s gonna get harder, but you’ve got to go through it to get through it. No one said anything worthwhile is going to be easy. I am still going through it.

I really suggest that for those who find themselves overwhelmed, distressed, or saddened by these times, I hope for ya’ll to spend this critical time to look within yourself first before committing to change outside yourself. Because with today’ social media, it is much easier to post than act. to say than do. and I do not buy the ‘allyship’ some of these people claim. But I am grateful to say that now that the BLM Movement has become one supported by protestors in countries outside the U.S. such as the Portugal, Brazil, United Kingdom, Australia etc., it is not one that can no longer be shoved under the rug, but instead forced to discuss. While I wholeheartedly acknowledge & appreciate the space of the Black Lives Movement, I also respect the value of yours as well. To make change on a macro level, we must start with ourselves.

much love x Lo

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